Monday, Aug. 15, 2005

to ryan....

to ryan....

This is for Ryan.

Ryan,
Your not wrong to have insecurities you are just wrong for having so many of them. If you didn't have insecurities you wouldn't be human, and if you were human you wouldn't be one that I would like to meet, because you would be vain. And we all know that vain people suck. However I know you are scared of your future, but you need not be. I was just like you when I was in college. When I graduated I didn't even have a job, or a thought of even how I was going to obtain one. But somehow, it all worked out, just as it will with you. Nice guys and gals do NOT finish last. It just takes them longer to get there because they don't cheat their way to the top. So even though you feel lost and you think there is no hope, slowly but surely it will come for you, just as it has me. I too was very insecure about myself. You want to know how I got through it? I said "fuck it". Fuck all of themn who don't think you are cute enough, smart enough, or successful enough. Who gives a damn what other people think? Its what you think. And you are right, you have to love yourself before anyone can love you. I weigh 265 pounds, do I care if people think I am fat? No. But if I cared that I was fat then it would matter. But I am not fat. More to love I think. I am comfortable in my own skin. And although you probably think that you don't care what other people think that you are feeling this way about yourself, you wouldn't be feeling this way if someone somwhere didn't call you ugly and you believe it. Your not ugly. It is the inside not the outside. I say it from experience. And hey I know you think that psychology is worthless right now since you can't think of any prospects for your future, but don't change your major. It is so rewarding to help other people. That will also help your self esteem. Because, hey I work with people with mental illness, we have it lucky my boy. You wouldn't believe how lucky we have it.

Your friend,
Becky

Hello anyone there? Its the first day of school for the youngsters. Man I feel old as hell when people are up going to school and I am only up going to work. I will be working for the rest of my life. No more school. How sad.