Monday, Dec. 16, 2002

As if you really wanted to know that bullshit?

As if you really wanted to know that bullshit?

Well I have cool news followed by not-so-cool news.

I don't think I have ever seen a falling star before. Or is it flying star? I don't know, but I am sure you know what I am talking about. Well as I was driving my bum-ass brother home from work the other day, I finally saw one. It flew, or fell, so high and long it was cool. I saw it out of the corner of my eye.

Stuff like that makes me wonder. What is all up there? I mean we have a whole wide universe up there that no one knows what actually exists. It just makes a person wonder you know?

On the not-so-cool side of things, I got pissed at work again today. I didn't get mad at a manager, no sir-Y-bob.

Since the first day I started working there, on that lovely July 17, I fell head over heels for this guy named James (yeah I know I have a thing for guys named James). Well this one girl comes outta nowhere and starts working there. Like she has only been working for a couple of months or something. I used to talk to her a lot. Like she knew that I liked him. But she got with him anyway. And now they are some "couple" or some shit. She even told my friend Claudia that she was happy she was with him but "she felt sorry for Becky." What the fuck is that? Don't feel sorry for me bitch just get off his balls dammit. She talks to everyone about what they do, how they go to the movies, how they go to each other's houses, shit like that. But you will never see her talking to me about it. Nope, because ifyou did one of us would wind up on the floor, and let's just say it wouldn't be me alright? Well I got mad today because they came to work together. Like he took her to work. As in she must have been at his house or something for him to be able to take her to work. That was when a fuse finally busted in me and I got pissed. I didn't tell anyone (except for Claudia) why I was mad. But they all knew it. Even James himself was like "what's her problem?"

You see I don't know if I should be mad or not. She knew I liked him. She pretended to be my friend, to be cool with me while she was seeing him. Now I just stopped talking to her as much as I used to. Plus I don't think he knows I like him, and I am pretty sure he wouldn't come to the conclusion as to that was the reason I would be mad. So I don't really know if I have the right to be mad, because I know if I was her I would probably do the same thing. The one thing I would have done differently though was not to pretend to be her friend. I mean knowing that I like him and then doing that anyways.... UGH.

So that is my dillemma for the day folks. Christmas time is rolling around, and I haven't bought a single gift. I don't even really have the money to buy this year, but I am going to try. At least for my close friends. Plus I need to get new glasses because these ones are rubbing agsinst my nose. As if you really wanted to know that bullshit?

Man and the time has finally come. My friend MiMi is turning 21 tomorrow. Holy fucking shit. It is crazy how fast time is going by. I mean in about 7 months I am going to turn 21 myself. That is just crazy. Then all I am going to hear is my brother asking me to buy him beer. Fun stuff. I remember the both of us being 17 and 18 years old and in high school. Now here we are. Mimi living with her boyfriend, and me a junior in college and working. My god a JUNIOR IN COLLEGE!!! How crazy is that? I mean I remember heing a junior in high school. Here I am like 4 years later. I'm sorry, just realzigin my life is passing by right before my eyes. At a speed that I can't grasp at the moment.