Saturday, Nov. 16, 2002

Jerry Springer should pay me for this entry.

Jerry Springer should pay me for this entry.

First off, something interesting.

Man I love that movie. And I find it interesting that I am him of all people. I'm not a criminal. I mean I've never gotten caught anyways. Oh well.

And, since Ryan begged so nicely and all I guess I'll give you the link to my guinea pig diary for my new layout. Since he wants to see it SO badly. It used to be my diary where I complain about bein fat. But I got bored of that. So now I'm just playing with it. It's v.3 pride. Look at it, tell me what ya think. I know Ryan well :-)

Well I went out with some friends yesterday. It was kinda cool. Well some things were. I mean I met my first lesbian yesterday. Yeah I know that sounds weird but I did. I have never met one before. I mean I might have and just not known it but last night was different. Because I just knew she was. I knew my friend's sister was too, even though she has kids. I am getting that little vibe up in me telling me these things. And the weird thing is I caught myself trying to get her attention. I caught myself trying to look nice for her. I don't know what that means. I mean I think I know what it means but its weird ya know? I caught myself thinking about what it would be like to kiss her, to be with her. That was the cool part. I even wanna go as far as to say that she even might have wanted me. I don't know. I don't know whats going on in my head about this but when I find out, you all will be the first to know.

The part that I was all pissed at was my friend. She was on my cell phone all fucking night. It wouldn't have been that bad but she was talking to my brother. She is like IN LOVE with him and shit. When she gets drunk she starts telling him all this different shit about "why don't you like me" "why don't you wanna be with me". I mean it would be that bad if it wasn't him. I mean hes my brother ferchristsake.

Speaking of my brother he is going through some emotional crisis sort of thing right now. It gets real complicated sounding so everyone concentrate. He found out that this guy has AIDS. Not just any guy but a guy that had sex with a girl that had sex with my brother. So my brother thinks he may have HIV or whatever. It gets weirder. This girl that he had sex with had sex with this guy. Who had sex with this other girl named Amanda. Amanda had sex with JimmIE. Ya know the "one that doesn't know how to do it." But this was AFTER I did anything with him (thank God). But somehow I still don't feel relieved. Because my brother may have it. I think that is just as worse as me having it. My brother said that if he does have it he is goin to kill himself. Now, I don't think he will go that far but I know he will just be torn the fuck up.

Damn this is all too weird. I never thought we would have these sort of problems in my family. I mean we have me may or not being gay and my brother may ot might not have HIV. How fucked up is that?

Hah Jerry Springer should pay me for this entry.